/
  • Digital Track
    Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

    You own this

     

lyrics

this seasonal accompaniment
of manic depression
is the reason that i'm panicked
and can't breathe when i am questioned
about the reasons i've been living
on the brink of self destruction
and been sucking bottles dry
i'm sick of my over consumption
if i'm not chasing a permanent black out
for reasons undiscovered
i'm passed out till 4PM
wrapped up in my covers
and i've been sluggish
taking this path to fix others
still dwelling in the dreams
where i'm slashing the wrist of her
even though i ditched that fucking bitch
a couple of months back
i still ain't recovered
from all this mess in her tracks
but things are great now,
sir bigs keeping me in check
i'm paying off my all debts
delivering what is my best yet
but i've been thinking back
regressing bout these bitches i abused
and the dudes from different crews
i took advantage and used
never thinking that my life
was affecting any others
i'm the worst role model
for my three younger brothers

it's been this way all along since the day
that his mother gave life
and he's never gonna change
he's heartless, (thinking i got love to give, no)
heartless (a reckless little son of a bitch)
it's been this way all along since the day
that his mother gave life
and he's never gonna change
he's heartless, (thinking i got love to give, no)
heartless (a reckless little son of a bitch)

the main reason i even started
making music was to loosen
the strain my brain inflicted
somehow find the solution
through all these like minded
ear to the ground hip hop relatives
but all i did was blow my cash
on tobacco and sedatives
rock a couple shows, fuck a lot of chicks
see a couple doctors 'bout this weird shit on my dick
now somehow i'm back to where i was at day one
with a LP, 5 EPs, and an illegitimate son
that i've never got to see,
got no idea where his mom is
but i've kept my shit real,
never breaking that promise
to be one hundred%
till the fucking day of my death
even though i feel closer
than i ever have yet
slow suicide, is this fucking life that i am living
imprisoned by doubt
can't cope with this addiction
to the mic, to the money
to the chicks, to the liquor
no waking up from this nightmare
i'm forced to live it

it's been this way all along since the day
that his mother gave life
and he's never gonna change
he's heartless, (thinking i got love to give, no)
heartless (a reckless little son of a bitch)
it's been this way all along since the day
that his mother gave life
and he's never gonna change
he's heartless, (thinking i got love to give, no)
heartless (a reckless little son of a bitch)

the person you that you meet
in public is a puppet
i'm not lying i can't seem to ditch the act
and rise above it
i've been clawing at the surface,
fingernails worn to the bone
pacing back and fourth
alone in my home
and all my words are selfish,
i don't expect you to understand
the audio perspective
of the mic in my hands
as i grasp these pages
that i have formed in to religion
i'm shouting this aloud
as some form of exorcism
of this pain i've caused
all my friends and my family
for the last two years,
i know everyone has had it with me
being so stressed
and absent of my sanity
but if you want some fucking beef
i dare you to take a fucking stab at me

it's been this way all along since the day
that his mother gave life
and he's never gonna change
he's heartless, (thinking i got love to give, no)
heartless (a reckless little son of a bitch)
it's been this way all along since the day
that his mother gave life
and he's never gonna change
he's heartless, (thinking i got love to give, no)
heartless (a reckless little son of a bitch)

credits

from A Midsummer's Nightmare, released November 25, 2012
recorded in a dirty winnebago in philadelphia, pa
instrumental by dj corbett of black light
additional vocals by MNM aka michelle moreno

license

all rights reserved

tags